The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

There are no French hens, but you can celebrate with Bunny Love.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

Four calling birds or KT Couture?

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

Who wants five golden rings, when Vivienne VaVoom's in the room.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

There's no geese a-laying, but we've got Minetta Lane as Suzie Snowflake.



Photo by Chris Blakeley.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

No swans a-swimming, but the burlesque version of The Twelve Days of Christmas has plenty of beauty.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

We've got more than eight maids in this burlesque version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. And none of them are a-milking.



Photo by Chris Blakeley.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

The only ladies dancing in this burlesque version of The Twelve Days of Christmas are burly queens.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

Forget ten lords a-leaping, The Candy Pitch's version of The Twelve Days of Christmas includes Bettie Page.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

Who needs eleven pipers piping? The Candy Pitch brings you a far saucier version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

The 12 Days of Christmas, Burlesque Style

Forget twelve drummers drumming, The Candy Pitch brings you a far saucier version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

The Candy Gram: Foxy Moxy

In our ongoing Q&A series --"The Candy Gram"-- we ask the same quirky questions of burlesque's various performers. If you want to be added to the mix, drop us a line at kellydinardo AT gmail DOT com. Today, say hello to Foxy Moxy.

What is your hometown?
Currently Reidsville, NC, by way of Pittsburgh and Erie, PA.

How long have you been interested in burlesque/performing?
I've been interested in burlesque since the age of 10, when I was mesmerized by a burlesque revue I wasn't supposed to be watching on late-night HBO! I became hooked on performance through competitive figure skating, probably from around age eight. I've been performing burlesque and singing cabaret for about six years now.

How many pairs of pasties do you own?
Probably 10 pairs in my bag right now.

What are your three favorite songs to perform to?
Currently, The Pussycat Song by Connie Vannet, Just A Gigolo by David Lee Roth and Pepita the Pole Dancer written by me. (I usually sing the songs I'm performing.) Also, ANY SONG done by the decadently sex-tastic, swingin' blues bombshell, Ms. Candye Kane!

What three items could you not live without as a performer?
My "Samson Airline 77" wireless headset mic (no bodypack or wires to tangle in your costume), sewing machine, "Kryolan Aquacolor" bodypaints/powder makeup with "Mama Clown" Glitter.

Who had the biggest influence on your career?
My dear friend, the fabulous "PhatManDee", Atomic Jazz Chanteuse of Pittsburgh, PA, who plucked me from the audience and thrust me upon my first variety stage ever, whispering through her gritted teeth, "Get up there and sing, dance... take off your clothes... whatever! We need time to restore the video feed to the judges of The Bong Show" -- her yearly Gong Show spin-off. They never did fix the live remote feed from the club, but a quick-thinking tech guy streamed a porn instead, which the totally baked, bong-happy judges liked so much, they declared me the winning contestant! After that, I decided I was much better off planning out my acts in advance if I was going to go anywhere near one of PhatManDee's gigs again.

Who is your favorite burly queen?
There are so many amazing performers past and present, my list of dream divas would encompass the Candy Pitch Blog. My most recent indelible impression: I SO freakin' LOVED Clams Casino's We are the Champions routine at Exotic World 08!

What is your favorite item of clothing?
I'm very tactile: silky, fuzzy, furry or feathery.

What's the last movie you saw?
What Would Jesus Buy? (about Rev. Billy & The Church of Stop Shopping)

What's on your must-see-TV list?
I'll admit it. I'm a big Project Runway geek. Definitely a fan of the arts programming on the Ovation channel, too.

What book is on your nightstand?
1000 Nudes -- Uwe Scheid Collection.

If you could go anywhere for vacation, where would you go?
Seeboden, Austria, during the World Bodypainting Festival or Santiago, Chile, to see one of Cuerpos Pintados' bodypainting art exhibitions. My partner and I also hold a current Guinness World Record for bodypainting.

If you could have any superpower, which one would you want? Why?
I'd like to combine the twinkly-sounding nose-twitch from Bewitched, with the powers of the Orgazmarator from the movie, Orgazmo. I'd wriggle the tip of my nose and dish out great big "O's" wherever I go! Certain to have SOME positive effect on the crime rate, not to mention the economic boost for laundry liquid.

Satisfy your appetite for more Candy Grams: Bambi Galore, Mis Rosie Bitts, Sahara Dunes, Mimi Rockafellar, Baby Le Strange, Rose Darling, Satan's Angel, Ophelia Flame, Panache La Plume, Ginger Valentine, Madame Rosebud, Little Brooklyn, Victoria Veneance, Sauci Calla Horra, Penny Starr Jr., Gemma Parker, Darla DeVine, Sparkly Devil, Vivienne VaVoom, Lux LaCroix, Charlotte La Belle Araignee, Bunny Love, Amber Topaz, Amelie Soleil, Red Hot Annie, HoneyLu, Kimberlee Rose, Vicky Butterfly, Dominique Immora, Yasmine Vine, Cherry Bomb, Millie Dollar, Joanie Gyoza, Bonbon Vivant, Lola Martinet, Frankie Boudoir, Vixen Violette, Ravenna Black, Veronica Lashe, Amber Ray, Beatrix von Bourbon, Angie Pontani, Tanya Cheex, Bloody Belle, Clams Casino, Trixie Little, Michelle L'Amour, Margaret Cho, Miss Dirty Martini, Princess Farhana, Miss Delirium Tremens, Paris Green, Jo Boobs, Jack Midnight, Heidi Von Haught, Diamond Minx, The Titillation Twins, Scratch, Creamy Stevens and Gina Louise.

Revealing Images: Angie Pontani

In Revealing Images, photographer Don Spiro dishes up sweet photographic treats and the stories behind them. Today, Don aims his lens at Angie Pontani.



Angie Pontani asked me if I would shoot some promotional shots for her show at Corio in New York, This Is Burlesque. The name is a play on This Was Burlesque, a revue by Ann Corio, the club’s namesake. The session would be with several of the cast members at the club and would include shots on the stage, candid shots, and studio style portraits.

After shooting shots of each performer on stage under a variety of lighting setups with a multitude of poses, I turned to the studio work. Space was limited, but tables were cleared and I set up my backdrop poles with a white fabric backdrop and took promo shots of Murray Hill, Helen Pontani, Melody Sweets, Peekaboo Pointe, Scott Rayow, and Dulce de Leche.

Angie and I have worked together often, and it's always fun. This time she was very ill, but this was the only time to shoot, and as soon as she stood in front of the camera her confidence and poise overshadowed everything else. I normally don’t recommend shooting someone who is uncomfortable, but Miss Pontani is a professional who’s attitude is “The show must go on” and can turn it on without betraying a hint of discomfort.

For Angie I used a very simple lighting design of two lights at forty-five degree angles to the camera, bounced into reflective umbrellas. This provided soft even light from both sides, bringing life to her eyes and creating a nearly shadowless fill. I shot portrait style, with the camera vertical, and Angie went through a host of poses.

Although this lighting can be flattering to a subject, cross-lighting can introduce awkward double shadows on a background. I avoid this by setting the backdrop further away, having the subject close to the camera in relation to the background. This throws the subject’s shadows far off to either side, out of the frame of the image. The lighting is angled so that the subject is lit evenly and there is enough spill to keep the background reading as white in the exposure. I don’t like to use Photoshop or do retouching, other than adding my credit, so everything had to be perfect in camera. This way the images could be ready for delivery and be incorporated into promotional materials with very little additional work.

The moment we finished Miss Pontani crashed on a couch, out like a light. She was still feeling poor, but from the look of the finished image you would never know it.

~Don Spiro

Video of the Week

A Candy Gram Mix

Tune in to Sauce on the Side's latest iMix of food songs. It's based on The Candy Gram interviews and which songs you like to perform to.

All The News That's Fit To Strip

The tributes to Bettie Page continue. MTV points out all of the celebrities who were influenced by Page's style. Dita Von Teese shares a story about her encounter with Page. PopMatters calls Page "the new frontier." And the New York Times offers up an appraisal of Page's place in our sexualized world:

"To look at these photographs is to enter another world. I don’t think for a minute it was a more innocent world, but it was one in which sexualized images of women, even trussed up in rope, seemed somehow, well, charming. I’m sure there are plenty of women and some men who would disagree, saying that one generation’s erotica is another’s pornographic exploitation. But the sheer volume of images that wash over us now have blunted our sensibilities, I think, and made us less alive to the beauty, the poetry and the mysteries of the naked body."

In other news ...

The Montreal Mirror recommends Gilded Lili in their Holiday Gift Guide.

Yule-A-Go-Go shimmies onto the CW.

Jessica Biel stars as a stripper in Powder Blue.

A Murray Little Christmas puts a ribald spin on the holidays.

Gypsy to shutter in January as a result of the faltering economy.

Bettie Page Dies at 85

Bettie Page, whose black bangs, curvy figure and naughty-but-nice smile helped make her a legendary pinup queen in the 1950s died at 85. Last week, Page suffered a heart attack and never regained consciousness. Her family agreed to remove life support Thursday.

She became famous for the 4-by-5-inch black-and-white photos taken by amateurs. She was the January 1955 centerfold for the then new Playboy magazine. She also was photographed by Irving Klaw, a short, balding man who became famous for his bondage photos of Page. Klaw and his sister Paula operated Movie Star News, a storefront and catalog company which sold photos of movie stars and pin-ups of burlesque dancers. They also made burlesque films, starring Lili St. Cyr, Tempest Storm and other dancers.

Klaw's pictures drew the attention of Senator Estes Kefauver, who was holding hearings on the mafia. The investigation also exposed the connection between strip clubs and the mafia and examined the connection between pornography and juvenile delinquency. They called Klaw to testify, but he pleaded the Fifth. Bettie Page refused to testify at all, telling the committee privately “that Irving Klaw never did any pornography at all, not even nudes, and that I would say that if they put me on the stand."

Shortly after that, Page retreated from the public. She had a born-again experience and immersed herself in Bible studies. Later her life was marked by depression, violent mood swings and several years in a state mental institution.

In the early '90s, as retro and swing culture boomed, Page became a cult figure. Her image was splashed on playing cards, lunch boxes, action figures, T-shirts and beach towels. In recent years, she had lived in Southern California on the proceeds of her revival.

She occasionally granted interviews as long as her face was not photographed. She told the Los Angeles Times, "I want to be remembered as I was when I was young and in my golden times. ... I want to be remembered as the woman who changed people's perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form."

~ Bettie Page, Queen of Pinups, Dies at 85, The New York Times
~ 1950s pin-up model Bettie Page dead at 85, CNN
~ Bettie Page dies at 85, Los Angeles Times (with a nice photo gallery)
~ Bettie Page, 1950s pin-up queen, dies in L.A., Reuters
~ In Pictures: Bettie Page, BBC
~ 1950s pinup model Bettie Page dies at 85, USA Today
~ Bettie Page, 1950s Pinup Girl, Cult Figure Decades Later, Dies, Bloomberg
~ Bondage Babe Bettie Page Dies at 85, Time
~ The Official Bettie Page site

A Sizzling Stocking Stuffer

What's the perfect stocking stuffer? How about the story of a woman known for peeling off her stockings? While supplies last, I'm offering signed copies of Gilded Lili for $15 + $5 for shipping (a tad more for international requests). If you're interested, please e-mail me at kellydinardo AT gmail DOT com.

Video of the Week

Seasons Greetings

For a special package, The Candy Pitch wants your favorite burlesque-themed holiday pictures. Send in your pin-ups, performance shots or anything else that says have a very sexy holiday season. E-mail photos to kellydinardo AT gmail DOT com.

All The News That's Fit To Strip

Bettie Page suffered a heart attack last week and remains in critical condition. The Associated Press reported that Page suffered a heart attack after three weeks of being hospitalized for pneumonia. Family friend Todd Mueller has claimed that Page is now in a coma. Agent Mark Roesler confirmed that Page is "critically ill."

In other news ...

NY1 chats with Angie Pontani and Lynn Sally about burlesque in New York.

The pin-up girl is making a comeback.

Fire damages West Hollywood strip club.

One reporter wonders what Dita Von Teese would think of the Satanic Sluts.

The Candy Gram: Bambi Galore

In our ongoing Q&A series --"The Candy Gram"-- we ask the same quirky questions of burlesque's various performers. If you want to be added to the mix, drop us a line at kellydinardo AT gmail DOT com. Today, say hello to Bambi Galore.

What is your hometown?
I perform out of Washington DC as my home base but after being raised a military brat, I'm always moving about.

How long have you been interested in burlesque/performing?
When I was younger I remember wanting to be a boy so I could be a drag queen. I always thought they were so beautiful. Once I found burlesque I was happy to see I could be just as glamorous and keep myself just the way I am!

How many pairs of pasties do you own?
I am constantly making pairs for my numbers. I like them to be just as special as the rest of the costume so about 15 at the minute.

What are your three favorite songs to perform to?
Humoresque
Bubbles in the Wine
I'm a Woman

What three items could you not live without as a performer?
False eyelashes, my signature pink lipstick and wig tape.

Who had the biggest influence on your career?
Funny enough, my mom. She was never a burlesque performer but she's a Navy Admiral. Growing up she'd do dinner theater and I'd be backstage acting along what she was doing on stage. She was the first person to show me that no matter what, do what you love and love what you do.

Who is your favorite burly queen?
I have three -- Satan's Angel, Coco Monroe and the World Famous *Bob*. All of them are amazing women with incredibly kind hearts and spirits. When I have needed someone they have been there not just for inspiration but for faith in mankind. They epitomize what a true beauty should be.

What is your favorite item of clothing?
My turquoise open toe heels.

What's the last movie you saw?
Stranger than Fiction

What's on your must-see-TV list?
I'm a couch potato so I love my shows. The Office (I'm a fanatic), Dexter, Big Love and Swingtown.

What book is on your nightstand?
Stori Telling, Not the Girl Next Door, Naked, Water for Elephants

If you could go anywhere for vacation, where would you go?
The West Coast seeing I've only ever been on lay-overs.

If you could have any superpower, which one would you want? Why?
To fly, I've always wanted to ever since I was a little child. The feeling of weightlessness seems like it would be transcending.

Satisfy your appetite for more Candy Grams: Mis Rosie Bitts, Sahara Dunes, Mimi Rockafellar, Baby Le Strange, Rose Darling, Satan's Angel, Ophelia Flame, Panache La Plume, Ginger Valentine, Madame Rosebud, Little Brooklyn, Victoria Veneance, Sauci Calla Horra, Penny Starr Jr., Gemma Parker, Darla DeVine, Sparkly Devil, Vivienne VaVoom, Lux LaCroix, Charlotte La Belle Araignee, Bunny Love, Amber Topaz, Amelie Soleil, Red Hot Annie, HoneyLu, Kimberlee Rose, Vicky Butterfly, Dominique Immora, Yasmine Vine, Cherry Bomb, Millie Dollar, Joanie Gyoza, Bonbon Vivant, Lola Martinet, Frankie Boudoir, Vixen Violette, Ravenna Black, Veronica Lashe, Amber Ray, Beatrix von Bourbon, Angie Pontani, Tanya Cheex, Bloody Belle, Clams Casino, Trixie Little, Michelle L'Amour, Margaret Cho, Miss Dirty Martini, Princess Farhana, Miss Delirium Tremens, Paris Green, Jo Boobs, Jack Midnight, Heidi Von Haught, Diamond Minx, The Titillation Twins, Scratch, Creamy Stevens and Gina Louise.

Tanya Cheex's Golden Rules

Tanya Cheex shares the golden rules of costumes with The Candy Pitch.

1. Make your makeup big and clean, wear false eyelashes.

2. Make sure your hair is perfectly coiffed not lank and natural. Make sure your wig is in good shape and secured safely to your head. Do not wear cheap, synthetic wigs with tracks showing!

3.Make sure your stockings and tights are free of holes (unless your character calls for it) and don't sag at ankles and knees.Bring two pairs to your gig. Make sure your stockings are opera length unless you're going flapper or 30's. Wearing beige fishnets is cheaper than surgery!

4.If you must wear off-the-rack costumes, jazz it up with some swag or rhinestones. If you can pull your street jeans over your costume, it ain't showbiz.

5.If you argue that your the girl next door type, remember you're on stage so you're the girl next door times 10.

6.If your feathers look moulty and sick, trash 'em and get new ones.

7.If you're wearing a lot of black or dark colors add something reflective like silver sequins or something. Don't disappear. Also its easier for the stage kitten to find discarded items.

8. If doing "Period" pieces do some research. It doesn't have to be 100% authentic -- it is fantasy after all -- but have some ideas of pieces that are relevant to the time period.

9.Keep up your costumes. Nothing spells tawdry showgirl like hanging trims. Wash or Febreeze those babies and add a waft of your favorite perfume.

10. Nothing breaks a fabulous outfit like scuffed shoes. If you have an all purpose favorite buy in twos. Big chunky platforms break the line of the leg. Don't enter the stage with stockinged feet.

And an extra rule for good measure ...

11. If doing a stocking peel please get a pedicure and wear slippers backstage before a barefoot act. dirty soles are not sexy! Manicures too!

What are the burlesque rules you follow? Send 'em to kellydinardo AT gmail DOT com.

Video of the Week

Spread a little holiday cheer with Yule A Go-Go. It's the yule log, holiday music and burlesque all wrapped into one.

Danke Dita

Don't miss Dita Von Teese in the German edition of Playboy.

All The News That's Fit To Strip

Dita Von Teese has sued Macmillan Publishers for using her image on Patti O'Shea's In Twilight's Shadow novel. The paranormal romance novel about demon hunting features her face in close up shot. Her attorney said the burlesque queen had "built her name and her career on her unique appearance and personal attributes." Von Teese is also suing photo agency Fotosearch.com for selling her picture to the publisher.

In other news ...

The old Raymond’s Revue Bar, the UK’s first striptease bar, is up for sale through Davis Coffer Lyons. Founded in 1958, for the past couple of years it has been a nightclub – Sir Elton John and David Furnish held their wedding reception there.

Milwaukee gets a new burlesque troupe.

Dr. Sketchy's is "very dynamic because of the costumes and the models are usually dancers or performers and so they have very dynamic bodies."